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Panthers Press-Conference Following Season Opener Loss to 49ers


Coach Holton walks up to the podium.......

Holton: "Questions!!?!!"

Some dumbass: "Coach...you thew two pick sixes to st..."

Holton: "Yea...good questi...um...question?"

Same dumbass: "Uh...yea...question. How are you going to address the turnovers in the future?"

Holton: "Hmm...good question. I don't know. Reps and study on how to read a defense."

Dumbass: "How about the running game?"

Holton: "What running game?"

Coach Holton looks around the room...

Holton: "Somebody with some sense please....you in the purple shorts..."

Purple Shorts: "What happened?"

Holton: "Good question. Best question yet. You deserve a fucking Pulitzer. What happened? Well...let's see. Two fucking picks off the bat. Fucked up the game right there. Didn't see him? What the holy fuck? Then...everything settles down a bit. Can't run. No blocking up front. Nothing. Might as well had Cam say hey...run here. Defense stepped up and showed promise. Pleased with the defense. They played the hands they were dealt and gave up one score. One. Makes you wonder what would happen if we could throw a ball to one of our receivers. Good game plan on the part of the Niners. Can't take anything from him...other than his discipline...can't have guys diving around...but hey...reflects leadership right?"

Purple Shorts: "One word....Mccaffrey."

Holton: "Good word. I'm out."

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