HERSH THA HECKLER: Summer, summer, summer time...
Ah, the off-season, when the sundresses are flowing and pro football players get arrested for strip club shenanigans and drug/alcohol fueled scuffles and skirmishes. Gotta get those violent tendencies out somehow. It isn't just the NFL off-season that we're struggling through this year, as the lazy SOBs that run the COFL have decided to take a full month off... (Didn't Prez just take like 3 weeks off mid-Season IV? You'd think with all that R&R he'd have fresh thumbs to make the playoffs the next season, but I digress.) To take a quick look at seasons of the past, Upper Management does have a lot to be proud of:
Season 4/5 expansion teams, new stadiums overseas, and even a traveling team like the Harlem Globetrotters (sans the win streaks and embraced diversity [lol].) Highlight videos and the inaugural "L's awards" (eLLies? L'ies? ELies? idk fuck it) have been a huge hit.
There are a few thing around to distract us from the monotony of off-season a la COFLite (AKA Jake's Double Elimination Tourney) and another COFL Invitational in the works. It's not a full season, but Hey! it beats the shit out of watching baseball or ...*shudder*... spending time with loved ones... Maybe we should all be a little more like the Ayler's and make Madden a family affair. One thing to look forward to... an all new MADDEN 18!!! But with every new game, there will be bugs, cheese plays, glitches and th-- HOLY SHIT did Delvin Cook just break an 87 yard run through the Broncos defense only to fumble at the 5 yardline!?!? #RageQuit .. Get excited for 13 year olds cursing into your living room as they run the same streaks play to OBJ every drive. Madden never REALLY changes. All that being said, the new Madden does look pretty damn good. Don't expect Brock Osweiler to bail you out if the Lamar Miller cheat codes have been dialed back. QB accuracy (or lack there of) has gotten some serious focus this go round and it ain't gonna be pretty come kick-off. To wrap up this first installation of Hersh Tha Heckler, I want to say thanks for reading, and all jokes are in good fun... except the ones about your mom, she should definitely look into some other dietary options. If you want to write in comments, criticisms, concerns feel free to send them to the Official COFL GroupMe. We want to hear your thoughts. Be on the lookout for future references to you and your shitty on-field/off-field performances. Don't let the Man keep you down, Aight Peace, HershNasty